The writing prompt for this week’s Confessions of a #Good Enough Mom is “Taking Care of Me, So I can take Care of You”. I have been pondering this a few ways this past week.
For me personally, I have a tendency to try to manage everything (impossible, I know, but still I give it my darndest sometimes). The kids, things like meal planning, shopping, money management; those are all my household jobs. None of them bad, but I think I try to be in complete control just a little too much. Sometimes it takes things like God-incidences to get through to me and show me that I’m clearly not in control of all this stuff. Things like complaining to God about a situation saying “God, if only you would do xyz….” then having xyz happen, not once, but twice this week? God saying “Just Stop! Let ME take care of YOU. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.”
Now, that’s all well and good but how does one actually go about “not doing it all”? How does one allow God to provide that needed rest? For everyone, the answer will be a little different. There is the obvious pray and read the Bible and/or do other spiritual reading, which shouldn’t be ignored. But the rest of the time? For me, I have to make a conscious effort to use my remaining, fairly limited “free time” intentionally. Thoughts such as “why am I doing what I’m doing right now?” have been popping into my head all week. It’s very hard not to feel guilty for doing something for myself. But I think it’s definitely important to take those few minutes/activities, because I believe it’s necessary for sanity. It’s necessary so we don’t loose track of our own sense of who we are.
I’ve been paying a little more attention to what I can do for me. One way that I know I unwind is to take pictures (as can be seen by the mostly photo posts of the last week). I also enjoy reading and crocheting amongst other things. But sometimes even my hobbies are not done totally for me. And while there’s nothing wrong with, say, crocheting something for someone (in fact there is a lot of satisfaction in making something that will be given away), always making things for someone else (and never for yourself) can start to build up to a “why am I doing this again?” sorta attitude.
To wrap this all up before it gets any later, I’ve been finding the importance of letting a few things go, relying on God, and resting in the aftermath. And, yes, it may have taken a good bit of shouting in my direction before I was able to hear that Someone get through to me. Has it made me perfect when I get up to care for the kids? Nope. Not even close. Sometimes it helps just knowing that I have a book waiting for me at the end of getting-the-kids-in-bed. Even if I am too tired to read more than a page or two :).
Blessings to all in your resting times.
~ Ruth Anne
(The Linky for #GoodEnoughMom isn’t up yet, but once it gets there, I’ll post this there too)