Answers to *those* questions {FF}

5faves answers

And by *those* questions, I mean the ones that larger than average families tend to get asked on a regular basis.

Disclaimers before I start:
1) I don’t think most of these questions are really anyone’s business except for the husband, wife and God. So why am I going to bother to answer them? Because people are curious (I know I am), and I genuinely think most people (note: I said “most” not “all”) aren’t asking to be mean or rude.
2) These aren’t going to be “snarky replies”, I’m really not that kind of person, so these are my in-real-life answers.

1 ~ Are you done yet? / Is this the last one? / Plans for more? / {things like that}

Real life answer: I dunno.
{I find this totally throws people for a loop. Like, they know what they’d answer if I said “yes” or “no”, but indecision… they get nothing!}

I don’t answer that way because I’m undecided about whether or not to have more kids (well, I am undecided… depends on the day). But I answer that way because I honest and truly don’t know if I will have more children. After this baby is born, I will be a grand total of 30 years and 3 months old. That leaves me with approximately 15 years (???) of potential fertility. Guys, thats a long time. That’s a long time to never “accidentally” get pregnant. A long time to chart perfectly. To me, especially, it seems a long time to never get pregnant.

But, I’ve also seen the other side (albeit on a shorter time line). I could try every month of those 15 years and never conceive again. The fact is, whether we have another baby or not is not totally up to me; I have my husband to consider as well. But ultimately it’s not up to us. We can make plans, but God can open and close wombs at will.

Why not just use birth control? Read on…

2 ~ So, why not just use birth control?

This is a multilayered answer.

First, non-religious answer: I don’t like it. The two times I was on it, it totally screwed up my cycles. I’m not 100% sure, but I also think it did something to my body which made it have a harder time getting pregnant (with Zachary). I also don’t believe it’s is good for a woman’s body.

Second, Jared didn’t like me using it (completely for religious reasons). The combined five months I was on it, we argued almost daily about whether or not I should be. That gets old. And at one point I realized I needed to make a choice between what was better for our marriage. Combine that with my first point and I quit.

Third, religious answer: I belong to a Church that clearly says “no birth control”. I’ve made a choice to live by these teachings. Usually if I just say something like “I’m Catholic” they say “Oh” (like, she’s one of those guys… And yeah, I am, but it’s also the reasons above.)

{Side note: complete strangers have never asked me this, but plenty of doctors, nurses, midwives, etc… have}

3 ~ Are they all yours? / You’ve got your hands full.

Real life answer: Yup, they are. / Yup, I do.

I mean, my kids all look pretty alike. And I’m told they look like me, but I don’t always see that. So…… what do want me to say?

This is especially where I want to reiterate my point from the opening that most people aren’t asking to be mean. I’ve never gotten this question asked in any way except wonder and awe and genuine happiness over the fact. Surprise maybe, but nothing negative.

4 ~ Are you trying for a girl?

Real life answer: No. {I like to beat around the bush, can you tell?}

I believe children are a gift. All of my pregnancies I’ve been truly thankful for the blessing of another child, long before I knew the gender. I think it was after Karl, where I was wishing a little more for another girl, that I realized “who am I to tell God what I need to have”. I’m not God. I didn’t designate the gender of my children. Doing something {trying} so that you can get a specific thing {gender} from God starts bordering on territory where you, as the human being, are trying to dictate to God how the world will work. Not a place I’m willing to venture.

Someone asked me with Z. if I was hoping for a girl. I respond “If God wants to ask me what gender I’d like, I’ll be more than happy to tell him I think I’d like a girl, but God hasn’t come asking, so I’m fine with him making the decision.

5 ~ Do you have a TV? / You do know how this happens, right? / {that particular list can go on and on…}

Real life answer: Yes. I have a degree in Biology.

Like, a real live university degree in Biological Sciences, not like a Univ. of Hard Knocks degree in Bio. Well, actually I may have that one too by this point… But… really. Yes. I know how it works. You can’t get through a biology degree without studying the reproductive cycle of every single organism on the planet (that includes human beings… and those weird little microscopic things at the bottom of the ocean, because really, knowing that will change your world.)

~~~~~

If I could just keep asking for prayers for Z. he’s having some sort of reaction to something/skin breakout of unknown origin. Its weird. Like bumps all over his face. We’re seeing a dermatologist tomorrow.

Linking with Jenna for #5faves

P.S. Sorry for the length… thanks for reading to the end! ❤

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2 thoughts on “Answers to *those* questions {FF}

  1. I love reading your perspective on birth control and what was best for your marriage–also that the answers to those questions aren’t anyone’s business! I appreciate the answers though because it definitely gives me food for thought as I prepare for marriage and starting a family myself!!

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