Two months: a check-in

Two months

I did my first “hard” trip with kiddos this month last month {because this is how long it takes me to write posts these days…}. I took both the babies (at the time 18 months and 2 months) to the pediatricians alone. My mom had offered to go along with me, but I told her I really needed to try and do it by myself, because I know there will be a day when I just don’t have anyone else to watch the kids and I’ll have to bring them somewhere by myself. {Side note: it may have actually been easier if I brought the older kids to help entertain Z during the whole time we were there, but I didn’t have them, so it makes me hopeful that if/when I do have to do it with all of them by myself that it’ll be easier}.

As a mama of five now, but more importantly, as one who has been a mama for 6+ years, I look back at myself when I had just the one baby and think “if only she knew how easy just one is”. But then I catch myself and realize that where we’re at in the moment is the hardest. Because we’ve never done it before.

I know when I was that first time mama, I would look at mamas with older/more kids and think “well, they’ve at least got it all figured out”. Now I’m that mama that I was looking at: I’ve got a few more kids, and they’re somewhat older and…. I don’t have it all figured out.

Sure, the newborn stage isn’t as scary anymore. I more or less know what to expect from the new baby. I don’t have to give myself hours of pep talk to take the newborn to the grocery store or the pediatricians or to Mass or pretty much anywhere. I don’t worry about if he’ll need to eat while we’re out. I don’t worry about having to change him while we’re out. I don’t worry about him starting to get fussy or crying while we’re out. So, yes, in a sense I’ve got a much better handle on that stage.

But… all five out at once? Still working on that. That’s still new for me. That’s still hard. And maybe someday I’ll look back and think “ah, those were the easy years”, but I’m not there yet.

So, for all you first time mamas out there, or mamas with a new little one, just a note of encouragement, yes this time right now is hard, and that’s OK. It’s hard for everyone. Don’t feel like you have to have it all figured out, that comes with time.

Even “experienced” mamas still have new things to learn; new situations to encounter and make it through. And new is scary and hard sometimes.

In the trenches of motherhood with all my fellow mamas!

2 thoughts on “Two months: a check-in

  1. “Where we’re at in the moment is the hardest. Because we’ve never done it before.” A good reminder for all the things that come our way that we think we’ll be fine to handle because of everything else we’ve handled thus far. But then remembering that no two things (no matter how similar) are vastly different.

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