A WIWS post

WIWS 2-28

Many thanks to Katherine for taking the photo. Apologies for the closed eyes… for some reason I thought it would be a better idea to stand looking into the sun. Oh well 🙂

The outfit details:
Shoes – back there behind me. It was warm out. I don’t like shoes, so they were off when we came home
{Total side note: I tend to take my WIWS photos after we get home from church, since it’s usually not rushed or anything, but I find that it often leaves me shoe-less}
Skirt – Super comfy long maternity skirt that doesn’t necessarily require tights
Top – Somewhat comfy maternity top. Purple for Lent!
Sweater – Non maternity, kinda too small, but still comfy and nice enough to wear to Mass
Belly: 36 weeks 3 days

There’s also a little necklace, and if you’re looking for technicalities I wore my hair in a pony tale and under a veil during Mass.

Also for reference, I have taken a few pictures over the last few weeks, but never blogged them, so here they are:


I know we’re already three weeks into Lent and all, and to be honest I don’t have a ton of thoughts to put out on the internet this year. I think I knew coming into this year that I wouldn’t be “doing” much. This is the first time I’ve been on this end of pregnancy for Lent and it’s come with a special sort of difficulty and much discomfort. So I’ve found myself trying to offer those things as my sacrifice this year. Taking the “easy” way out? Maybe. But this is what I can manage.

I also keep thinking about a song that was played during Advent: Almost There by Michael W Smith {link to youtube video}

The lyrics are:

Mary, full of innocence
Carrying the Holy prince
You’re almost there, you’re almost there
Mother of the Living Word
Trusting in the voice you heard
You’re almost there, you’re almost there

You’re almost where the angels see
Redemption’s plan unfolding
All hope is in the Son you’ll bear
You’re almost there

A lonely road, a willing heart
Pray for strength to do your part
You’re almost there, you’re almost there
Trust the Father to provide
Bread of heaven prophesied
You’re almost there, you’re almost there

You’re almost where the waiting ends
Delivering the life within
The answered prayer, Emmanuel
You’re almost there

You’re almost where the journey ends
Where death will die and life begins
The answered prayer, Emmanuel
You’re almost, almost there

Anyways, I’ve been thinking about this song a lot. And it’s been “real” in a sense to me because I’m nearing the end of my own pregnancy journey. Now, I’m not Mary and my baby isn’t Jesus, but the line especially Where death will die and life begins has been especially front and center because how much is birth like a kind of death? A passing from the womb into life. My due date is Holy Thursday, one day before Good Friday. One day before we “celebrate” the Ultimate death into life.

That’s been my “to think about” this season. And it’s not an easy one to forget about!


Linking up with Rosie at A Blog For My Mom

What I Wore Sunday

On not being super excited for this current pregnancy {WIWS}

WIWS: Comfy sweater that I now realize doesn’t exactly match the maternity “T” underneath. Beige pants that still fit! {And sandals and a veil, but this was after Mass and those things were long put away}. Photo in K’s room, yes, it actually is that pink. #Zphotobomb

There. I said it. I have not been super excited for this current pregnancy. I *thought* I would be excited, way back at the very, very, very beginning when I first found out we would be adding another baby, but then…. I don’t know. It seems to be taking longer than normal for the excitement to build up this time.

Maybe it’s because I had a teeny tiny bit of spotting that the doctors and nurses blew up into “worst case scenario” (an ectopic pregnancy)… which it turned out not to be thanks be to God. But those two times I spent at the ER, and the second time especially were so super stressful that I think it really put a damper on things.

It probably also didn’t help that I had friends who lost a baby at birth literally days before I found out I was pregnant.

I didn’t have a horrible time of my normal night-time “morning” sickness (it was there, but it wasn’t terrible). I did feel incredibly exhausted. Like, the go-to-bed-every-night-at-7:00PM kind of exhausted.

I know from past babies that it does take time to get used to the idea of another child. I know that was especially the case with Katherine. It took me all of those nine months to get used to the idea of a baby and I still don’t know how “ready” I was once she was born. Even with Zachary, I had people ask me if I was excited right after we found out, and I was like “Woah. Wait a minute. I just found out we’re having another baby. You gotta give me longer than a day to get used to that… THEN I’ll let you know if I’m excited”. But with him, it didn’t take weeks and weeks and weeks for that excitement to build.

I guess all this lack of excitement has me really not feeling connected to the baby just yet. Even with seeing baby move on the 8-week ultrasound scan (which I’ve never seen before)… And hearing the heart beat with the midwife saying “there’s a baby in there”… They were special moments, yes, but once they were gone so was the connection. Even the fact that all my regular clothes no longer fit hasn’t really made the fact sink in.

15+ weeks
15+ weeks (pretty obvious there’s a bump there!)

I have been feeling little tiny flutterings the last few weeks. Not many, but a few. And that has helped. I also happened to glance through some old photos on the instagram feed and seeing the newborn pictures of Zachary has helped too.

But… through all this, the few times I’ve gotten worked up and stressed out enough to pray about it I get an almost instant little reminder that this precious little soul has already been created by God. Already has a purpose. He (or she) is already loved by God…. even if his mama is taking a little while to catch up. 🙂 God’s big enough to hold him (and me) and love him (and me) and care for him until I find myself ready to take my part.


Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple for WIWS

P.S. If you’re paying attention and reading closely, I know on Friday I stated I was 16 weeks… but I recounted and realized I arbitrarily added a week… so I’m really somewhere like 15 and a half. Baby’s still due at the end-ish of March, right after Jared’s birthday 🙂

P.P.S. I don’t know if I’m having a boy… it just feels easier to refer to baby as a boy, since… you know that’s what we seem to be good at making 😉